Hannah Montana - Rockstar

I love this AFTERLIFE thing even if that makes me a scenester/hipster. Mock me all you want but fuck you. I'm not letting you make me feel insecure like I'm involved in something stupid or trendy. I do what I feel comfortable doing this time around. Saturday nights may be the only nights I look forward to each week. Not much else is occuring in the not-so-fabulous life of me. I am just gearing up and saving each check for my trip out of town. I need every but of money I can get because I said I was going to do this alone. Anyway, Kelsey and I are making a name for ourselves at the weekly parties and we're having so much fun. It makes me feel better knowing I'm getting out away from all of the fake people who seem to have been surrounding my life for so long. And you know like... when you get rid of one fake person, you only gain another so Saturdays are my days to get away from all of life's bullshit and all of it's phony people. I'm not there to make a boyfriend or even many friends. I'm just there to have fun and be myself. Someone I'm never allowed to be, even at home because theres that constant devil on your shoulder making sure that you know you're wrong about everything that crosses your mind or comes out of your mouth (yes, you, dear sister). I can forget people like that for 3 or 4 hours and I love that.

I also said this year was the no bullshit year. No one is going to dick me over and get away with it. I had to pull the plug on a some things and even though I feel very insecure about letting such things and people go, I know in the end that I was doing a good thing. It hurts worse to have that constant paranoia wondering what everyone' intentions are. I don't want to care about shit like that anymore. I don't want to have to wonder if people are being nice to me to get somewhere or if they genuinely like me. No one should have to take so much stress just trying tof ind out if people are really there for good or bad intentions. If I get that kind of vibe from someone, I'm just letting it go completely. I'm so sick of it and it's over for good. I'm going to finally be happy at some point this year. Everyone else can kiss my ass and leave me the fuck alone.

After all... I might even be a rockstar. ;)

The Audition - Warm Me Up

... you missed the point.

The Outfield - Your Love

I just want everyone to be there on Saturday at AFTERLIFE. Masquerade on North Ave. Free before midnight if you're 21+ and 5 dollars for everyone else.

Sia - Lentill

So right now, above all, I am currently looking for a web developer. If you are one or know someone who is skilled in that type of thing, please contact me via email. Thanks so much, guys.

Rihanna - Umbrella

What do you do when you think you've failed at something you tried so desperately to accomplish? Do you keep persuing it even after it all flatlined in front of you or do you just move on to something else? I wish I knew how else to touch base with this but I guess, honestly, there isn't much I could say. I'm just a little upset. We all get over these things right? This is probably something I should write in my actual journal but I'm far too lazy to go grab it so I'll write my cryptic thoughts here. It actually isn't cryptic though. This is a battle between me and myself. Don't you think those are the worst kinds? I'd rather have animosity towards someone else right now rather than myself but nope, it's just me currently.

Gym Class Heroes - Shell Shock

Yes, kids. I am certainly listening to the Ninja Turtles soundtrack. I like all of two songs on it by two of my favorite bands right now. I don't know why I like Travis so much. Maybe it's the fact that he always has this "I just don't give a shit" attitude towards life and everyone in general. Not to mention his music is always amazing. I listen to GCH on the daily and so should everyone else. He says whatever he wants to say and petty much kicks your ass at anything. I don't know what made me decide to pimp him all of a sudden but everyone just go with it for the sake of me! And thats all I have to say about that.

I just finished watching World Trade Center. Movies like that make me sad. I just hate seeing things about real life that have happened recently that I've live through. It isn't like one of those timely war movies where our grandparents went through it. It's something you and I both experienced and dealt with. Most of us were in school or at work when we witnessed it and it was probably one of the most devastating thing most of us has seen and the fact that we couldn't do anything in that very moment but stand and watch this happening on national television to so many people? It was... unreal. And the fact that the entire world heard about it in that very day as well and watched our towers collapsing? Watching and hearing of the nearly 3,000 people that died that day in those towers. Yeah. It's hard to watch. Worst part is that up until that act of terrorism or whathaveyou, people still gave our firefighters, our police, and even our soldiers-in-training the cold shoulder as if they did not serve a purpose up until this day. As if firefighters never had a fire to put out or a life to save. As if any of these people weren't heroes up until this day. Remember when little kids used to want to be firefighters and policemen and everyone would just say its such a general career choice? Now people are proud their children want to go down these paths. Nothing changed about these people? They were heroes long before our towers came down. But really, yeah, it was a devastating day and I actually liked that I got a little insight into what went on in the building and the families who struggled trying to find out if so and so and their loved ones were even going to make it to see another day.

As far as concerts go, I shot The Editors, Hot Hot Heat, & Louis XIV. They all were really good live. It felt weird to not know any of the photographers in the photo pit though. Well, I guess technically I did. Rob was there. He knew who I was or at least recognized me so we talked for a little bit before Hot Hot Heat's set. I'm just used to seeing Matt/Nikon there instead of Rob but it was cool either way. We talked about our days back at Hi Fi Buys and everything. It was nice. I met a couple kids who were obsessed with Hot Hot Heat and I helped get the setlist for one of the girls since no one was allowed int he photo pit. I've been past that whole guitar pick and setlist collecting thing since... well... I was never even into it to begin with.

throwing punches at ocean waves...

It is unbelievably the new year and I have yet to talk about new year's resolutions or anything like that. I know I should read the bible more, eat more vegetables and steer clear of all things sugar-related simply because I'm aiming to live a more physically and spiritually healthy-life. I'm already headed in the wrong direction and it's only been 8 days into the new year. That alone is frustrating. I've become an addict to partying with a friend of mine. Now, I don't intend to not have fun. One of my goals this year is to become a bit more social and more with the right groups of people. I found myself in a spiral of all of the wrong people last year. Now don't get me wrong, they were all nice persay but nothing good ever came out of any of it. I want to cleanse myself of all of those troubles and only look forward.

As of now, I see myself becoming more and more of a busynut instead of sitting down and working. Sleep will become common and though I have bad internet habits with chatting all night and putting off work, I fully intend to drop some of those and focus more on what I need to get done. My website is an ever growing project in which I intend to perfect over the next month or two where everything is done systematically. Concerts on this day, photos and interviews from said show will go up within 5 days of the show. Parties on Saturdays at AFTERLIFE and parties on the first thursday of every month. Hopefully Last Year's Party will take off and be a more systematic thing as well which will also help me bloom in the social department. As far as the website goes, all of the bad karma is coming off this January. I'm giving it a new reputation. Stripping it completely of what was there before as far as how people viewed it. If photo passes are given out, the photos must be given back in return within the said amount of time or no more photo passes will be given out. I'm really looking forward to working with the Brandon guy. He's been amazing so far and I see great things coming from him even after the one or two shows he's been to already.

My party crew is slowly under way. I cannot talk of this as of yet but I promise you it will be something insane and fun all at once. I'm so beyond stoked to see the turnout of this one and I hope everyone will see it. Saturdays and Thursdays and hopefully even more than that. Le Castle Vania? He rocks the hell out of a dance party. I love you, but I've chosen disco.

So whats been the happs in the life of this busybee? I have been working a lot. Last week I worked 39.9 hours. Just below 40 so that I wouldn't get in trouble. The check wasnt as amazing as the one time I worked 45 hours but whatever. I ended up opening a bank account with an awesome bank so now my checks will be directly deposited and I no longer have to take trips to the bank or cash checking place. You have no idea how great that feels. It works out because I leave for Las Vegas two days before pay day which is awesome because the money will go directly into my account and I will instantly have the cash. It all works out.

My last resolution? See a new movie every weekend. Hopefully Fridays & Saturdays that way I knock out 2 blockbusters a week. Nifty.

:0